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The Wonder Twins are at it again. This time, it was a bolster pillow from my bed. They killed it, gutted it, and dragged it home. Okay, not exactly, but they would like to think that’s what they did. They actually chewed the button off of the end of the bolster, ripped the pillow open, and had a wonderful time ripping the stuffing out of it, all over my bedroom. I caught them in the act, and both tried to look innocent, with stuffing stuck between their teeth.
In the past month, Missy and Levi have:
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Dumped 5 bathroom waste baskets and shredded the contents (you don’t EVEN want to know)
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Ripped up my bolster pillow
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Killed 3 mice and two birds (again with the hunting! Like here, and here.)
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Rolled in something nasty. Not sure what but it smelled horrible!
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Escaped from the back yard 4 different times
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Stolen 13 separate socks and 1 pair of underwear, and dragged them outside
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Spent untold hours barking mindlessly at the back fence.
I did get to have a little revenge though. They have both been neutered (Ha! Take that!), had rabies shots (again, HA!) and I bought an ultrasonic bark-stopper that seems to work quite well. The only trouble is that I need one on each corner of the fence to stop the yapping in the yard. In the house, it is quite effective!
Despite how it sounds, they are actually getting much better about going to the bathroom outside. They have graduated to being allowed to sleep with us again, since they don’t wet my bed any more. J and I are training them, working on sit, lay, leave it, and beg. Missy begs very pretty now.  Both also walk very happily on a leash with a harness.
These puppies though, they are nothing but trouble! Sweet, annoying, trouble.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Cor. 4:17-18
 This time of year I always see stressed out moms. They are either frantically purchasing school supplies for that ever-growing “required list” for their children’s teachers, or they are scrambling to fit the upcoming year’s homeschool curriculum into a one-income budget. They may be noticing bald tires on the van, gray hair, a leaky faucet, hot flashes, or ankles showing beneath a child’s jeans- which fit two months ago. Life happens. The way we respond to it has enormous effect on our health and on the family around us.
You do realize that what you are dealing with is small in the grand scheme of things, right? You are so important to God! He knows and He cares what you are going through. Not only that, but He said that if we pray and ask in faith, we will have what we ask. He also promised us that through our persevering, it would be worth it.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Heb. 12:2
Do you know WHY Jesus did that? He did it because he KNEW THE OUTCOME OF IT. Jesus knew that He had to endure the cross so that we would receive the eternal benefits. Everything you do has purpose. Everything you deal with strengthens you, molds you, changes you into who the Lord wants you to become.
Endure! Persevere! Hang in there! What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
 
Lately the terms “delayed adulthood” and “extended adolescence” have been heard amongst parenting experts, and many television news programs have had feature stories on the phenomena. The joke about the video-game addicted boy growing up to be the 35 year old man who can’t hold a job and lives in his parent’s basement, but holds the high score in World of Warcraft or Halo 2 really isn’t a joke anymore. It happens. My one question this month refers to fostering a child’s independence so that he or she will grow into a responsible adult.
How do you help your children to develop independence?
Kiva at Views from the Farmstead encourages her kids to take on some personal management early on. “My children are 6 and 8, so their independence is limited. My hubby and I think it is important for them to have strong character and we believe we are achieving that by firmly rooting them in God’s Word. As they grow older and find themselves in different situations, we pray that they will make wise choices and decisions. At their young ages, they also manage their savings accounts, contribute to the house via chores, and our daughter is gaining kitchen confidence to hopefully start helping with family meals.”
Penny from Living Above Ministries has a great idea for independent chores! “My children are young (6 & 3). To help them clean their room independently, I have created a chore chart with pictures & fun moveable buttons for them. They enjoy finding success when they can “do it by themselves!” When we go to new places or meet new people, I explain to them the people who we know to be “safe” and that they can feel free to talk with them and not be afraid.”
Saidah, of A Proverbs Wife, with 4 kids ranging from 9-16 believes in giving them responsibility in planning their schedules. “I allow my children to help me make their chore and school schedules. Taking part in the creation of their schedules builds independence. When they complete tasks on their schedule they feel a sense of accomplishment in knowing that they managed their time and energy well.”
SisterLisa, mom of many from The Home Spun Life allows her children to experience freedom while Mom gets the final say-so. “I let them know they have some extra freedom in an area, but I have veto power if they make too risky of decisions. If they violate trust in that freedom, they lose it for a while. I avoid being controlling because it speaks fear to them and a lack of faith. I encourage independence in areas they are strongest in.”
I also need to speak up here. You see, we learned the hard way about teaching our kids independence, when we looked around and realized we had TWO 18 year olds without driver’s licenses or jobs, who couldn’t get themselves up in the mornings and were still dependent upon us for transportation. This isn’t how either of us were raised, and we are very ashamed to see that we raised our kids this way. Things are different for them now, and for the remaining three at home. Until she can take driver’s ed, our 16 year old takes the city bus many of the places that she wants to go. She and two friends took it downtown (gasp! Spokane!?), went to the park, walked around the skywalk shopping center, had lunch, and had a blast. All on their own. And with many more trips this like this to come. She will be attending Running Start at the college, and will ride the city bus to & from. She’s also looking for a job. What a concept!
And although she didn’t contribute to this post, Lenore Skenazy of Free-Range Kids is probably the most prolific writer that I have found lately on the subject of independent kids. You must read her blog. While you’re at it, check out this video of her talking about being called America’s Worst Mother because she let her 9 year old exercise some independence.
I feature new, different bloggers each month! Want to play along? I will link up and promote your blog and Twitter profile in exchange for your (2-3 sentence) input! For next month I need moms with more than one child, who have at least one over the age of 10.
Email me at submissions@5kidsandadog.com Send your response by October 15th!
The five most helpful, fun and or interesting answers will be featured– just answer this question for October:
What is just one thing you do to motivate your kids to do chores?
 We start school again in a week. One week. 7 Days and back to homeschooling. It just occurred to me that I’m not ready yet. I have some of their books but not all. And we didn’t finish their math books last year.
As I have been thinking about this, I came up with 10 Things I need to do between now and September 8th, in no particular order.
1. Declutter the paper piles in my bedroom.
2. Tear out the used pages in their Math U See books and handwriting books.
3. Find D2’s Bible. He lost it somewhere in the house. Must send the kids on a hunt.
4. Print out all of our ebooks and my planner notebook, and bind them or have them bound.
5. Schedule the math tutor, so the 16yo will be ready for college math when she starts in January.
6. Connect my 16yo with the Running Start counselor at the high school so she can get registered.
7. File our Intent to Homeschool form with the school district.
8. Organize our school cabinet and purge or store anything we are not going to use this year.
9. Come up with a workable menu plan for 30 days. And use it!
10. Re-establish bedtime routines and times, and morning alarm clock use.
Yikes! Seeing it all listed like that makes me afraid I won’t be able to get it all done.
Deep breath.
Yes, I will. I will put my laptop away and get on it. After I print out those ebooks and planner pages, that is. 
 
This is my silverware drawer. I took this photo last night, right after the dishwasher was unloaded. This drawer should contain service for 12. Meaning 12 dinner forks, 12 salad forks, 12 butter knives, 12 tablespoons and 12 teaspoons. What you see here is what there is.
I think it’s time we bought new silverware. Or is it flatware? Our eating utensils are stainless steel, so I guess it’s called flatware. Whatever you want to call it, we have a serious problem here!
Somehow, we’re down to 2 teaspoons and 1 salad fork. We have 10 butter knives, 9 dinner forks and 9 table spoons left. All the rest have just… disappeared. I know who did it. It’s that “Not Me” kid again. He’s forever stealing, breaking, spilling, losing, shredding, dumping, and leaving things laying around. This time, though, he’s going to cost me money. And it’s going to hurt. We NEED service for 12. There are 7 of us much of the time for meals. We finally bought a second service for 6 after we grew tired of requesting guests bring their own silverware… but that was 10 years ago.
 I didn’t pick out my silver pattern from a bridal registry, nor did I choose china or crystal or anything else. This isn’t the heirloom silver my Gramma gave me a few years ago, which is carefully wrapped and put away for when my kids are mostly out of the house. No, this is just everyday Oneida flatware, but I did choose the pattern when I was about 9. It did come from my Gramma (I love my Gramma!!), and it makes me kind of sad to see the need to replace it. I looked into purchasing replacement spoons and forks, but at $12 for FOUR (and I need 10-11 of EACH) it is cheaper to just buy new flatware.
And as for that Not Me kid? Well, I will pass a strong message to him, through the kids who live here and would never dream of digging in the dirt with my spoons and losing them, or using my forks as darts to hit things in the storm drain, never to be retrieved, that the silverware stays in the house.
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Momma’s Talk