B90Days: Day 46

46 Days of Bible reading, and now I’m in Proverbs. It’s really hard to believe! I look at my Bible, laying on the table with the two sticky notes that I use to mark my beginning and ending pages, and the blue ribbon that marks where I am currently reading, and I can’t believe I’ve read that much of the Bible in this short period of time! We’re halfway done, and it feels fantastic.

My blue ribbon hasn’t always been between the two sticky notes… this last weekend I worked evening shift Saturday and Sunday, and I got about a day and a half behind. I got caught up today, thank goodness. So now we’re in Proverbs, and there is literally so much wisdom in this book that it should be taught in schools, every year. Really. So much common sense, which seems to be so uncommon these days. I’m only 38, so please don’t think I’m some old biddy ranting about the good old days…. but really, where did common sense go? Or respect? Goal setting and values? These things which were taken for granted as common when my parents were kids, are now so close to non-existent that it is very sad.

Last night while I was working, one of our residents passed away. This isn’t too unusual, since I do work in a nursing home, but it isn’t an every day occurrence, nor even an every week occurrence. But in talking to a few other NACs about him, it really hit me that we really do get what God promises us, whether it is for our better or not. This man, about 2 hours before he died, was laying, wide awake, staring in horror at some unknown vision above him. His aide told me he looked scared to death, and tried to verbalize something to her, but was struggling to breathe, so was unable to talk. And he was scared. This was a man who, in years past (and I have taken care of him off and on for the entire four years I have worked there) was a VERY difficult person to please. He would nitpick and yell and scream at the aides, curse at us, and was just generally a very hateful, grouchy old man. They aren’t all like him. In fact, thankfully, most of the residents I care for are genuinely thankful for the care, and the ones who aren’t are usually not as hateful as he used to be. And he was scared.

For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. Prov. 5:21

Not that any of us ever had ill will towards him.  In the past year his condition had deteriorated and so had his mind, to the point where, while he was still cantankerous and grouchy, he also had dementia, and that actually makes all of it a lot easier to take.  He died with his son, two aides and a nurse by his side, and while that was comforting for him at the time, I am fully convinced he had already seen what was waiting for him once he passed.  I pray that my life reflects Christ, and that when I finally see Him face to face, I will be smiling.